Mom Bond (tighter than duct tape)

Researching for the Mother's Day message, I came up with something I didn't know before. At least not officially. I did see it in operation over my lifetime. Especially in my own years as a mom. I wanted to see where "Mother" was first used in the Bible. I found that right away in the early chapters of Genesis. (2:24 and 3:20 if you want that for your own information)
What I found too was in the original meaning of the word  for Mother was also the concept of "the bond of the family". Wow! Did you know that? Maybe. I did not. Only instinctively not intellectually as in having backing from books and such. I guess it was more of an unresearched theory. Really sometimes as a Mom you just get busy doing mom life and don't think a whole lot about what is behind it.
This could be a reason it can be so hard to let go as they are growing up and while we may be happy for the success of other children, we are SO proud of our own children. It could also be a reason we feel so stretched being busy doing what bonds the family. In fact one of the hormones produced in women during labor in childbirth and while nursing her babies is Oxytocin which has the purpose of bonding her to her child. Just to mention men have this hormone as well, but it operates in a particular way in women with their babies. I believe that is God designed.

What we learn as moms, is how needy babies are. They really can not do what they need to keep themselves alive. They do have a built in alarm system letting them cry for attention pretty well! Still they need someone fiercely attached who will endure sleepless nights, poopy diapers, feedings, spit up, maybe some colic in the mix, playing and hugging all while doing the other things it takes to run a home. In general they need someone who will lay down their own life, and come through on the other side of that weary perhaps (oh yes!) but loving them everlastingly just the same. Being cute little packages of squishy cuddliness goes a long way too.

I have several friends who have adopted and I wondered how this attachment process worked in that situation.  After all I have seen for myself how tight the bond is with these mothers and adopted children. The  final study I found drew the conclusion that in current studies "the adoptive mother's sensitivity seems comparable the the sensitivity of nonadoptive mothers, a finding that concurs with the attachment results. It is suggested that the outcomes in this study may be partly explained by the fact that these infants were placed for adoption at a rather young age with relatively favorable circumstances prior to the placement." Utrecht University

What of women who seem to have had difficulty bonding? Studies done showed some of the following "We  decided to look at the interpersonal characteristics of individual women to see if there was a correlation with changes in their oxytocin levels," said Turner, who is also the Direvtor of Student Research at the California School of Professional Psychology, Almeda campus. "We found a significant difference between women who reported distress and anxiety in their relationships and women who were more secure in thier relationships."
Developmental Psycology Sept 2005

I do not know how many women were part of the study. I know many women who have undergone difficult relationships and still have great attachment to their children yet I do think the study shows something worth noting even though I do not have studies ready at this moment to back me. Oxytocin also bonds a man and a woman when they come together in the "one flesh" way as the Bible puts it. In a society that has encouraged in so many ways "sexual liberation" thus possibly bonding to different partners, does the ability to form secure relationships with each other become affected? Does it then create some torn things in us making it difficult to trust one another and feel secure in relationships with a trickle down effect to our children? (In some cases a deluge effect to our children).

God is about abundant life and how it is best lived. He is about how we can have more secure male/female relationships,secure children and societies. He is not about hindering good things in our lives when He gives instructions about purity in our lives. John 10:10 says "The thief (satan) comes not except to steal and to kill and to destroy. I (Jesus) am come that they (you) may have life, and that they (you) may have it more abundantly" Fortunately He is also about the restoring of broken lives to bring us into abundant life. Life that holds hope for us and our children.