Ducks In A Row (parenting)

Parenting is a huge, huge task. The very first days of a child's life tells a person that right away. And not one of us comes to it entirely prepared, though some people have a bit more preparation than others. Most of us do not come to the experience with all our ducks in a row so to speak. You know all the financial things in order, careers all established, college finished, marriage all figured out. If you did come to it this way I will still smile and bless you but I venture to say most of us do not.
So here is a bit of my thinking - you can choose to carry on reading or not (but I guess I hope you do).




If you have one or many little to big people depending on you to love, provide for and guide them, you do NOT have to be a perfect person to do this job. In fact you will not be a perfect person. You may feel sometimes like you need to be a super hero when all you want to do is hide a while. You may feel you have really blown it with making life right for them and most certainly your time has passed to live your personal dream so a profound frustration lingers beneath your skin, a dog biting your heels telling you life is passing and if not for....
Do NOT listen to that lie.


Life is passing but is also being built.

Letting lies haunt us can make us the person we do not want to be.

They can make us a person who will

crush

not shape

a child

if not rooted out,

as if the child is in the way of our life and not a big part of who we are...

If

 we don't guard ourselves and use

self-control with our words and

body language and

 the expressions on

our face.  

Sometimes we are just mad at the way life has gone with a number of twists, turns and challenges that aren't just hard but painful, almost crippling.
Angry at the loss of control we feel over things.
Absolutely tired beyond tired over it all.
And there we are with a child or two or more :) who just live in their own world, within the safe world we make for them, having to be brought along side into line
WHEN I WANT AND WHEN I SAY.


But they have a question or don't want to do what we want when we say as quickly as we are sure they must.
They want to check out the roly poly bug or flower or
Finish a chalk drawing on the side walk or something when we have this important thing to get to...
They take longer to manage the life skills that we have had a lifetime of experience at like brushing teeth and getting dressed...
Their legs just aren't as long to keep up...
Even though the rest of the day they probably run circles around us and running far ahead of us so we have to worry about them dashing into an intersection or something life threatening because even though one minute they are frustrating us nearly to our own meltdown, losing them would nearly do us in we are sure.
NOT ALL of raising children is this dire and difficult. Much of it is lovely, eye opening to the world around us rewarding...but those days that are the above part of this blog, I want to remind us of the choice with a promise


19“Today I have given you the choice between life and death, between blessings and curses. Now I call on heaven and earth to witness the choice you make. Oh, that you would choose life, so that you and your descendants might live! 20You can make this choice by loving the Lord your God, obeying him, and committing yourself firmly to him. This is the key to your life... " Dueteronomy 30:19-20a


Recently I was reminded of this choosing Life myself when I was beyond worn out with trying situations overlapping each other for a couple of years straight. Choosing to be fully engaged in life not just existing and it was a word that jolted me awake more than an energy drink.


It is my prayer for you today.




 And this....well...
 This picture was just a bit too strange not to use...

In My Easter Bonnett (with all the frills)

     We must have had at least 7 of our 8 kids at the time this happened but it was Easter fast approaching. Traditionally I tried to outfit all of us with new clothes  for the occasion. Obviously that is a financial feat, not to mention the time involved shopping and hoping the clothes would be something the kids could still be using through the year not just the few hours of one day. The mental gymnastics of that alone stymie me thinking back, but it was important to me.







     That particular year was a year of changes. Not happy ones. It involved changes that impacted our finances, so splurges on outfits to celebrate Easter just were not in order. I will admit it was hard for me to accept. Maybe some of you don't have the clothing tradition thing going on for your Easter celebration, so wonder why in the world it was a big deal anyway. After all look at the above mentioned stress I was being saved from (the bright side I guess). Even though I was trying to correct my focus with the sunny side of things I was really and truly, flat out disappointed.


     So I defaulted  to what I knew to do...talk to God about it ...which really probably contained a good measure of whining and complaining to start with.
 

And God talked back.

     Not in a booming voice from the heavens but in that place inside my spirit where He chooses to dwell with us. I heard His word coming back to me telling me this particular Easter would be about putting on the "New man" and clothing myself in the fruit of the Spirit. Of course I would wear clothes too just not brand new.
 
     Could I possibly lay aside the traditions I was comfortable with and wanted to continue in, to allow Him to shine through me? Could it be enough to put on love, patience, kindness, gentleness, long suffering, joy, peace, self-control, and goodness (not the right order but I am pretty sure the order does not matter for this writing).


     I could dress in Easter finery and have a perfectly lovely and true character obviously. God was not condemning the desire at all. But when the rubber hits the road and I have disappointments what kind of woman am I? Can I be a woman of character? You know the saying "pretty is as pretty does"? Love looks good on us.







I still like new clothes. I still like to give them to my kids. When all is said and done though our appearance is the picture frame to our character. Our character is the real picture.


Hoping you have a beautiful Easter Sunday remembering the
RESURRECTION and putting on Christ....He loves you!