So today is a day of full out crabbiness. My hair is clean but not yet controlled so adding to my- ok I will just say it- discontent knowing full well the Bible tells me Godliness with contentment is GREAT GAIN..And I do believe contentment is cultivated to some extent. Like I must choose it sometimes and choose to not be ruled by my feelings and circumstances. Not because I am emotionless but I choose what to do with those emotions. I choose to not become a madwoman with a spray bottle when the dog is caught laying on the couch leaving dog hair like a blanket on the cushions...(apologies to those who love their dogs more than I seem to be able to) though in that case I was on the brink of madwoman-ness.
And because today is a day wrought with poor attitudes to be fought back (a losing battle on so many fronts already and it is just 10:00 am) I need to pull some tools out of my Tool Chest (aka previous life experiences).
So here is one that after raising 8 children for, lo these 30 plus years, had been laid, not quite to rest, but just hasn't been needed so often...I call it: STAYING BY THE Stuff .
Staying By The Stuff is a concept drawn from the telling of one of the escapades of that shepherd, worshipper, warrior, anointed king, who was not yet serving as king, David. Coming back to their city exhausted, he and his men discovered it had been raided, burned and their women and children taken captive. Determined to rescue them and to meet out vengeance on the ones who had plundered them, some of the soldiers were staying behind at camp "by the stuff" keeping watch over it while the rest went with David to get the families back. Having recovered ALL, David, the men, the women, the children and the spoils came back victorious. David made a statute or ordinance that those who "stayed by the stuff" shared equally with those who served at the point of battle and the spoils of that battle.
2 Samuel 30
For me in my life, that meant when I tended to the home front with the kids and our business while my husband made mission trips or different ministry ventures, God would still credit me with the same reward.
So what is going on today that has required me to make use of that particular tool? First there was a one day women's retreat so near by I could have walked to it if I had to but I decided to not go because our church youth group was having a 2 day trip to the Dream Center in Chicago.
After seeing Mat Barnett at a conference, and then his wife at another and hearing of the founding of and work of the LA Dream Center, then Joyce Meyers Dream Center in Missouri, a Dream Center is something I think our NW Indiana area needs (Gary in particular) so I wanted to see it for myself and serve and plus my daughter was one of the youth going. So I opted out of the retreat only to have health issues keep me from going to the Chicago D.C. last night and then due to an emergency with one of our agents at work, needed to "stay by the stuff" here which essentially means I was needed to watch one of my granddaughters while her daddy went to the office today. I also planned to see my daughter off by going to the monthly church fellowship breakfast with her, my husband, and granddaughter before she left with the group from the church only to realize I just was not going to make it on time to do even that.
Sometimes we think LAYING DOWN OUR LIVES is all about going out and doing the stuff of ministry when really it is laying our lives down for others to go out and do the stuff. And while going to the Dream Center may be a dream for me, it is not necessarily my primary call (well at this time anyway). So I guess in a way my crabbiness is kind of a big girls tantrum now that I look at it all written out. Tantrums as we know are never pleasant and are a decided mark of immaturity in the midst of wanting my own way and not getting it. WOW...now that I have just managed to give myself a therapy session for free...Needless to say, I am embarrassed and accordingly repentant.. To those who have been unhappy recipients of my disappointment fall out, I am so sorry.
In the meantime I have found some ways to not continue in crabbiness even though my hair is still a mess. I had a tickle play session with my granddaughter. We ate. We marched and raced down the hall. And now she is "doing my hair" which very possibly even though she is 2 and 1/2 may be an improvement but also may be an indicator of how desperate it looked. Now we are counting marbles and no they are not the ones I lost raising children... And of course I have been blogging...a two hour off and on process now. And now have read Green Eggs and Ham before naps. (her nap not mine)
Can I just say a few more things here? I don't think the only thing we can do as women is care for children. On the flip side of that though, I don't think we should underestimate the
extreme value of caring for them. Babies do NOT raise themselves. We can look at blogs of dire conditions of orphanages where the children are not truly cared for. Not well fed. Not PLAYED with. Not taught. Not cleaned. They barely grow if they do manage to live.
I recognize I have talents and gifts to use in other ways and with adults, but I hope I never think caring for a child is a waste of my time instead of the loving, nurturing life building thing it is. So often those who need a dream center are the recipients of broken choices, unstable homes, men or women who needed strong foundations laid and the understanding of the value God places on them. My staying home "by the stuff" as it were, in many cases is a preventative to the need for places like the Dream Center.
I also recognize in scripture and through history on in to today's world the important contributions women have made that do not have to do with staying home with children only. There are seasons to life though and we do not live them all at one time. They are distinct with transition from one to the next continuous. And though I am home today not out doing, I can tell you the gifts, talents and callings are still there to be used. They did not disappear. In fact I believe they became enhanced by living life according to the seasons as God ran them in my life and developed me as His daughter more fully..
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